What to do When your nemesis is doing better than you?

I know how the world is unjust and the biggest turd is getting promoted, and your hard work is looking pale in comparison to their BS. So, what to do? You conspire. This post is dedicated to the part of you that you often neglect because we are often ashamed to admit we are feeling bad because of others success. This is normal and you’re not bad. Look at why you’re are feeling the way you’re feeling and give yourself grace. Skip to the Summary in the end for a quick read.

When you feel someone is doing much better than you, do all in your might to resist the temptation to self sabotage by consistently ruminating on the thoughts. Stop and do these things instead.

Before you read here’s a bit about me – I’ve been there done that. These things listed below help me to cope when thoughts of inadequacy strikes which mind you everyone goes through at least once on their lives, so no shame 🙂

Here are three steps to feel at ease.

Step 1

Take all the time you need to do these three things below and maybe journal or note down these thoughts and collect the emotional data point and why you’re feeling what you are feeling.

Go Reflect.

No Judgement.

Be Curious.

Step 2

Now it’s time for action. Once you know why you’re feeling what you’re feeling and why your brain is not listening to you, do these 5 action points. They help.

Cry a bit let it all out
Kickboxing helps
Joining new art class
Cursing is best
Upskilling does a lot good

I’m assuming that most of negative self talk is out of your system, let’s get down and dirty with steps that will get you results. Remember all these are loooong term things that will be ripe with dividends eventually and you need to play the long game instead of short term. Be patient with yourself.

Step 3

Network with people you admire. You’ll find the people you admire from far are not admirable when you know them as person – that happens all the time. There’s a saying do not meet your heroes for a reason. But sad if that happens. So do you do when it happens? You go back and start from the Step 2.

Once you’re ready go network with people and get to know them you never know what will click!

Network people working in same field.
Network with people in complementary field – Sales networks with Marketing for example.
Network with your friend’s friends. Ask your friends to introduce you to their friends.
Network when you go out to party.
No invitation no problem. Attend conventions, conferences, art classes, exercise groups. Anywhere people tend to flock.

If Networking is nightmare for you too then you ought to read to how to navigate meeting people for networking.

Bonus Step – Art

I don’t judge when I say that even if these things is giving you feels and making you sorry for yourself, then you can draw the deaths of people you’re feeling down about. Just don’t do it actually for real and I forbid to use violence as ever a step to feel better about but do everything in your power to make your mind to move on. I abhor violence but encourage you to delete them from your mind and this artistic interpretation of internal turmoil can be beneficial. So here we go how to draw –

Take sharp pencil draw stick figure and let the blood flow from red marker. Easily available items from office supplies. No, I’m serious envy and jealousy needs to be cared for with empathy and needs to be act upon with kindness even when the means are a little unconventional.

While I am all for encouraging expressing emotions through art in a peaceful and positive way, sometimes the people who are doing good are not well intentioned people, they gave you a raw deal. They were mean to you or were bully and suddenly they are doing a lot good, it’s not fair. So you draw their deaths. It’s helpful because when you consider them dead, they’re no longer a threat. And the part of you that’s jealous and envious will feel you care for them.

Basically do not ignore your emotions and cater to them healthily. Yes animated death drawing is a coping mechanism.

When you feel down your confidence take a beating. Why this happens is because we fail to introspect. We fail to give credit to our achievements. We refuse to believe we can feel better. Sometimes we do not accept the hurt we’re feeling when we unnecessarily compare our failures to someone elses accomplishments or the social highlight reel. In this case it’s helpful to go take have an objective internal dialog. It’s. Damn. Hard.

How can you be objective when you’re at the center of your feels going through tumultuous time of feeling inadequate with your mind busy comparing everything with this supposedly successful individual?

You read.

I like to read only engaging and interesting things and that’s why I will highly recommend reading Zen pencils. Go through their work it’s a goldmine. But if you don’t have time then go through this particular comic to feel better.

I have cumulated few items to ensure you feel tiny bit better when you’re are going through the stressful activity of comparing yourself to someone doing better than you. Here’s mu reading resouce.

Reading resources

Summary

When you feel like comparing with other successful people then do these things.